I find myself playing all these different love songs on iTunes.... The mellow sounds of John Legend's "Again" and "Another Again" are floating throughout the room. I look down to see my shirt spotted with the tears that won't stop flowing....
Damn, I love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately,
Why can't we just trust each?
You can't hate me and be my lover,
Passion ends, and pains begins, I come back...
And we're doing it again,
Yes, we're doing it again,
Oh, we're doing it again,
We said it would end but here it goes again.
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately,
Why can't we just trust each?
You can't hate me and be my lover,
Passion ends, and pains begins, I come back...
And we're doing it again,
Yes, we're doing it again,
Oh, we're doing it again,
We said it would end but here it goes again.
I love him soooooo much.
L.O.V.E
I never would have imagined when the love affair began at the end of October that I would fall in love. He would bring out a part of me I forgot I had.... A part that was lost to past heartaches and pain. A friend posted India Arie's "He Heals Me" on my facebook wall and I couldn't help but become overwhelmed with emotion...
He heals me
Told him my biggest secret
And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said that makes me love more
And then he made me laugh
And I knew it was a sign
That he was a man,
That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day
I feel more and more of that way
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me,
He heals me
I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line,
And even when I’m wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I’m not right.
Told him my biggest secret
And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said that makes me love more
And then he made me laugh
And I knew it was a sign
That he was a man,
That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day
I feel more and more of that way
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me,
He heals me
I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line,
And even when I’m wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I’m not right.
We talk every day.... The few days we haven't talked, it didn't feel right. I can't stay mad at him for more than an hour or two.... I can spend all day (or even weekend) with him and as soon as he is gone I miss his presence, his touch, his kiss, his laugh, his smile......
But we can't be together.....
we can't be together....
It hurts.
It hurts like hell.
I can't seem to let go. The love feels so real. What we have isn't close to perfect, but there is something that makes me want to fight for it. I feel like I'm losing the battle... my heart is becoming weak.... I feel like Musiq Soulchild "Deserves U More"
who, tell who baby knows you better than I do
Said it out your own mouth
I aint even got to say it
you aint got to make an issue
I aint trying to play the victim
I'm just trying to make this thing right
How could you think that I could ever be better without you
I mean, i could go a few months
But everyday girl I'd be missing you
For me to send you off to another dude
the thought of it is so depressing
You & I both know that we needs this that why
I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
so stop subscribing to those crazy folks
cause there's no one who deserves you more
who gave you love?
dont change on me. dont change baby
I'll go halfcrazy if you choose to leave
Thats why I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
deserves you more...
Said it out your own mouth
I aint even got to say it
you aint got to make an issue
I aint trying to play the victim
I'm just trying to make this thing right
How could you think that I could ever be better without you
I mean, i could go a few months
But everyday girl I'd be missing you
For me to send you off to another dude
the thought of it is so depressing
You & I both know that we needs this that why
I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
so stop subscribing to those crazy folks
cause there's no one who deserves you more
who gave you love?
dont change on me. dont change baby
I'll go halfcrazy if you choose to leave
Thats why I'm explaining...what I'm fighting for
girl, theres no one who deserves you more
deserves you more...
I know I am a good woman. I just always seem to get placed in the not-so-good situations. Everything has been put out there..... things probably should never have gone this far.
The other women.
Not wanting commitment.
I ignored it and it has left me...
STUCK
I just don't know how much more my heart can handle. I know that he loves me and he cares about me... but he wants to do his own thing. I hold on because so much time and so many feelings have been invested.... It is not easy to just let go of the force that has been created. I have to make a decision and stick with it.
no more going back and forth
I just hope I choose the right one. I see love all around me. I know and see happy couples all around me. It isn't wrong for me to want that. I also know that dealings with love shouldn't be...
forced.
If I have tears, I want them to be tears of joy... not tears of sadness. The waiting game can be soooooo dangerous... and I don't want to be the loser anymore....
